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Do you have enough information to know that you could not marry this man?If a man initiates with you, ladies, think and pray and seek counsel before simply dismissing him.Remember, your intent at this point is not necessarily marriage — and that's not what either of you are committing to at this stage.You're simply committing to get to know her a little better in an intentional way to evaluate whether the two of you should then consider marriage to one another.If nothing else, treating men who initiate well will encourage other men to initiate.If we are concerned about defrauding one another (again, this idea applies to both genders but particularly to the men as the initiators), another one of the early issues to address is how much and what kind of time couples spend together.If you feel that you are not initially attracted to a man who initiates with you, OK — but at least ask yourself why that is.Are you considering biblical characteristics in that decision?
So with all that said, let's consider how the principle of caring for one another well in the early stages of a relationship might look.
If you know the man well or at least better than what I've just described, but you are not sure whether you are interested in him, I'd encourage you to at least take some time to get to know him before giving an unequivocal "no." Keep in mind that this is different from feigning interest when there isn't any.
There are instances in which you can be genuinely unsure about a guy but still move forward this far.
You're trying to find out whether this is someone you should know more intimately en route to figuring out whether this is a person you could marry. You are trying to figure out if you to know this person intimately. One suggestion I have for couples starting out is that the majority of your time together should be spent with other people, preferably with your families and church families.
Get to know one another in groups, find out how the other person reacts to people, spend time with the people he or she cares about.
You probably won't know at this stage how things are going to ultimately turn out regarding marriage (that's why you date), so you need not communicate that right away.