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Yet I finally understood that our entire married life, except for our children, whom we both loved completely, was built on a falsehood.At that moment, I felt as if I were standing alone in the world, stripped of all dignity, with a big sign on me that read idiot.He refused, explaining that he respected me too much and that sex had ruined his previous relationships.Frustrated, I kept reminding myself that, as he said, "We will have the rest of our life together." In premarital counseling, we told the minister that divorce didn't fit with our values.I thought it was a storybook romance for nine months — until Chris abruptly said, "I can't do this anymore." He refused to explain why; I was distraught and confused.
I didn't believe in premarital sex, but once we were engaged I went on the Pill and told Chris I thought we should make love.But in the world we lived in, people often claimed a guy was gay if he wasn't a jock or really macho, so I didn't want to judge someone because of who his friends were and what he did. Besides, he'd taken a girl — me — out on a date, so how could he be gay?We immediately started seeing each other exclusively.He was 22, a senior and a talented musician who could sing and play brass, keyboards and woodwinds.I'd never had a boyfriend before, and I felt incredibly flattered when this popular, good-looking guy asked me out.
I didn't think there was anything wrong with being gay — I have an openly gay cousin.