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If you do not, she is going to learn that you don't respect her feelings - they don't matter to you, she has to fight you to get what she wants and that love is hurtful. I don't think she is just saying she hates you or that she thinks you hate her, she is most likely feeling a little bit of it.The number 1 priority you have to worry about is your relationship with her.
You allowed her to create a relationship with this boy and now you need to respect that relationship.
This could cause her to withdraw from the family in many ways and cause even bigger issues.
Every situation is going to be different and how parents handle their daughter's dating relationships is going to be up to them.
Should you allow your daughter to date an older boy?
It is a tricky situation, a hard decision and one that can cause arguments within the family.
She was becoming a 'drama queen' and arguing with her parents and older brothers.